Autopilot OFF

2010 was my year on autopilot. It wasn't intentional, it just sort of happened that way. February 1st brought the arrival of our youngest son and while we love our sweet little Ty-guy, our life was turned up.side.down. Many sleepless nights, round the clock feedings, and a big brother who wasn't so "big" yet, led to a general feeling of "drowning" in our house.

So I went into survival mode. And I can hardly believe that I've almost gotten through Tyson's first year entirely on autopilot. It's sad to me as I look back on 2010, realizing that I lived most of it just to get through one day and on to the next. Sure, there were fun times and good memories, but a lot of the year was spent waiting for things to get easier. Putting things off until I could get a grip on the "chaos" around me. 

This year I want to change that. With a new year comes the perfect time for new beginnings. My goal for 2011 is to be intentional. Intentional about...

parenting - I want to savor the moments I have with my little guys. Savor the snuggles while they still want them. Enjoy the new phases as they come. Embrace the challenges and learn from them. Teach my sons who God is and how to love like Him.

my marriage - I want to be a wife that honors my husband. I want to be intentional about loving and serving him.  

friendships - I need to be intentional about not isolating myself. I have been blessed with some very amazing, deep friendships...unfortunately, many (not all) of those friends live out of town and oh, how I miss them!! I savor the 3 or 4 times we get to see each other during the year. Those times are refreshing for my soul! I'm struggling to build deep friendships locally, though. I'm sure it's insecurity and probably some self-centeredness, but I find that I isolate myself. Then I feel lonely. Then I wonder why I feel like I have no friends. I want to be intentional about overcoming my issues and building (and maintaining) deep relationships with other Godly women.

ministry - God has a purpose for me. I need to be intentional about discovering and living that purpose. I want to want to spend more time in the Word and more time listening for God's voice and hearing His calling. I need to be purposeful about spending time in prayer and asking for God's direction in my life.

my health - It's time I got serious about moving. It takes discipline to exercise when you feel like there's no time, but it's got to be done. I need to take care of my body by making good choices with both diet and exercise. A concrete goal I've set (we'll see how well I can keep up with it) is to avoid desserts Monday thru Thursday. It's a start, right? I'm still mustering up the courage to get out and run early in the morning. Sorry, but running in the dark by myself is a no go. I really need to find myself a running buddy... 

my free time - I'm done wasting my free time away on the computer. My goal is to limit my computer time as much as possible by only logging on while my boys are sleeping. That should help free up some time for more meaningful activities and interactions.

So, with all that said, here's to a better, more intentional Audrey in 2011!